I fantasize of being an artist. A visual artist in particular. Living in my studio. Orderly mess perfection. Papers everywhere. Making things. All the time.
01. Nainanainana – La Merelu
02. Unyileding Conditioning – Fishbone
03. Flutter - John Lurie
04. My Legendary Girlfriend - Pulp
05. Pants Vs. Dress – Lizzo
06. Hotel Suicide – Erase Errata
07. Unexpected Delight - Flying Lotus
08. Wall – John Cale
09. Salton City – Hot Snakes
10. Mortes – Monarch!
11. Tickly Flanks - µ-ziq
12. Phill 2 - KTL
I got nothing to say about these. Actually, I probably do. But I ran out of time and now February is almost over and I’d rather not get behind. So, here’s the music. Wait here’s some quick notes. My old roommate and I would watch Fishing with John before going to bed and we’d end up just zoning out on the title menu once it was over and Flutter would be on a loop and it was nighttime perfection. John Cale is so amazing at drones, I wish his entire career was that. I love Hot Snakes’ guitar tone and drum thunder. Now, listen.
Dhalgren – Samuel R. Delaney
Rising up from Indian Country: The Battle of Fort Dearborn and the Birth of Chicago – Ann Durkin Keating
The Meaning of Freedom and Other Difficult Dialogues – Angela Davis
Historias de Hadas para Adultos – Daína Chaviano
Kalpa Imperial – Angélica Gorodischer
First Buddhist Women: Poems and Stories of Awakening – Susan Murcott
Ancient, Ancient Kiini Ibura Salaam
Taking the Path of Zen – Robert Aitken
Soccer Vs the State: Tackling Football and Radical Politics – Gabriel Kuhn
The Book of the New Sun and The Urth of the New Sun – Gene Wolfe
Hopeful Monsters – Hiromi Goto
The complete failure that was the Chicago Fire’s 2014 season.
The thrilling highs and lows and all too soon over 2014 Chicago Red Stars season.
The fucking brilliance of Swansea City.
Battlestar Galactica! Only three episodes left!
Parks and Recreation
My Grandmother’s Ravioli
Grain – Caroline Park
Sabbracadaver – Monarch
The Golden Echo – Kimbra
5:55 – Charlotte Gainsbourg
Love is Love – Lungfish
Las Bistecs at soundcloud
Unreleased Aphex Twin Archive at soundcloud
I am in the process of cleaning out old hard drives and old physical file folders. I came across this. I wrote it for a Critical Reading and Writing class at Columbia College when I was a fiction writing major. Way back in 1998. I was twenty. I think I was supposed to compare and contrast William S. Burroughs, who I loved at the time and Vladimir Nabokov, who I hated at the time. When I turned it in, it really was titled Essay Shit. Although I was really into Burroughs at the time and I was aping him as hard as my twenty year old self could manage, I was actually trying to channel this battle royal jam comic that Jay Stephens and Paul Pope did in Buzz Buzz Comics Magazine. In the comic their various characters and likenesses rumbled. It was the spirit of that comic that I was going for. And all things Paul Pope in general. At the time I really wanted to write how Paul Pope drew.
And, no, I don’t really expect you to read this entire thing.
Ladies and gentleman. Boys and girls children of all ages. Fanfare! Lightning! Thunder! Gods! Earth shattering ribbons and lights. Circus sounds and big fat lines. The invocation of the beast is at hand. Before you today lies the future spread out on an empty canvas. The whole world is watching the events transpire. All eyes are on this piece of paper today. The process of constructing a creative essay is the task. Are you up to the challenge? I know you are! Creation is the fundamental element here. Creation above all is important, but don’t stray far from the path today children. The bears and zombies are out today. Today is the one day of the year when the bears and zombies fear nothing. They fear no light. They fear no time. They fear nothing. And they are not afraid to come and eat your guts if you fail your mission or stray too far and ramble beyond salvation. Are you up to the challenge? I know you are!
Tonight only. One on one. In a brutal no holds barred cage match. Fightin’ Bill Burroughs and Vladimir the Bolshevik Bear Nabakov FIGHT!!! To the DEATH!!! See Fightin’ Bill cut up Vladimir’s precious texts!!! See the Bolshevik Bear knock the pretentiousness from the bowels of Fightin’ Bill!!! Hear the sounds of bloody conquest. TOTAL CARNAGE!!! For your eyes only. This is a one night event as the contestants will be DEAD tomorrow!!! Parents are cautioned – this is not for the squeamish.
Tonight at eight, don’t miss Ramblin’ Rory Rockenbury, as he tackles the untackleable, imagines the unimaginable, explains the unexplainable, offers insight into the uninsightable unfathomable world of the author’s head. Hear Ramblin’ Rory’s neverbeforetonight heard opinions of Fightin’ Bill Burroughs and Vladimir, the Bolshevik Bear, Nabakov before they beat each other dead at nine.
My son was sick on Saturday. We woke early. Earlier than usual. I told him I’ll get up, but I’m just going to sleep on the couch. I’m not happy about this. We got down to the kitchen and before I could turn on any lights he said, Dad, my stomach hurts. My first thought was – Is he hungry, or does he have to shit? I asked, what does it feel like? He said, like this. Then he threw up on the kitchen floor. I quickly picked him up out of the encircling puddle. Set him down. He threw up again. I moved him again. It’s okay, I said rubbing his back as he looked dazed and surprised. I don’t know why I did that, he said confused. We went to the bathroom to clean him up, wash his body and face. New clothes. Then on the couch watching Dora while I cleaned the kitchen floor.
Two hours later and he threw up on the couch. Then the carpet. And then my hands as I tried to catch the dark bile to keep it from staining.
He swung between wanting to play – building towers, Batman, falling in the water – and curling up next to me and sadly saying I’m tired.
Four hours later while he curled next to me as we watched Team Umizoomi he said Dad, I have to go to the bathroom. He looked at me with the look. I carried him and ran to the bathroom, setting him on the floor in front of the toilet.
Instinct takes over
clutch toilet seat sides
heave chest and stomach convulse
It’s okay soothe
rub back and shoulders
pause and repeat
then hug and clean up