“46 million” art auction for healthcare

hey kids. this is a quick one. pal anders nilsen put together an art auction to raise money for grass roots efforts to help influence the passing of universal health care. lots of amazing artists contributed some righteous art that you can own. artists include: anders nilsen, genevieve castree, ivan brunetti, jeffrey brown, chris ware, lilli carre, kevin huizenga, dan clowes, and tons more. original art, prints, photos, books, etc. you can go here to check it out. but check it out quick. the auction ends in a week.

computer shit

recently. a couple weeks back. i was checking my email as i do before i get ready for work. i clicked on a link to a friend’s blog. and the computer started to slow down. took a while for the page to load, the mouse started disappearing and glitching out. i heard a couple clicks from somewhere inside my computer’s case. and then… bios. the bios screen. this is basically the mother board settings screen. you can get to it before the computer starts up, or if you don’t have an operating system installed whatsoever. this didn’t look good.

i tried starting up the computer again, but it made three clicks and then a high pitched whine. kind of a reeeeeee sound. click click click. like drumsticks counting off a song. click click click… reeeeeee. and the xp start up screen with the little blue progress bar loading infinitely. not good. couldn’t start into safe mode. couldn’t start in regular mode. all i could get to was the bios screen.

i shut it down. got ready and went to work. called a friend, who said, yeah that sounds like it’s yr hard drive. like it physically crashed. all yr data’s prolly gone.

fuck. i felt sick. panicked. angry. freaked out. scared. what about all the music files for all the recording i’ve done. the ones that i wasn’t done with. the ones that i still needed to finish up the last rories record. or the ones of other friend’s bands that i was still working with. and all the zine files and photos and layouts, etc. fucking hell.

this happened on a wednesday. i sent emails and made calls to friends to see if anyone had had this happen or knew of someone else and if they had any recommendations on where to take the hard drive to. i looked into how much it would cost to crack the fucker open and physically remove data, if a software extraction didn’t work. fbi stylee. at least a thousand.

then it was off to new jersey to visit h’s family for four days. i did my best to relax. to not worry about it. to not think about it. to come to grips with it. to be at peace with the fact that all that info, all those files, all the stuff i was working on, was gone. i was able to resign myself to the fact and relax. it was a good visit out there. and beautiful weather. and my first hoagie from wawa. and first water ice. yes water ice. like italian ice, but slushier.

when we got back, h helped me find some places to take the hard drive to. and to make this long story short. the place i went with, was able to get everything except for like 20 gigs off of it. hooray! i don’t know how i got so lucky that the physical damage occurred where there wasn’t crucial data stored. but i don’t care. i’m just stoked that i’ve got back the files i need to work with.

so now i’m all about backing shit up. two internal hard drives set up so that they are basically mirrored clones of each other. an external hard drive to back up again. and prolly a second exernal hard drive to make further back up. never again! hopefully! or maybe less catastrophic in the future!

futbol, sonic youth, collectors…

a couple of things.

1. the united states beat spain in the confederations cup. that’s crazy! spain was/is this invincible juggernaut. i have mixed feelings about this, cuz the us dominates in so many other ways, soccer was one of the few things where most other countries could walk all over the states. but, now united states soccer is ascending. which is good, cuz then soccer might start to get taken seriously here. which would be nice. this is not to say that the us is the best in the world at this point. far from it. they will prolly face brazil in the final and will prolly get creamed. but as an underdog story, and i love to root for the underdog, i’m into this.

UPDATE of course I posted this late. the us did lose to brazil. just so you know.

also, if anyone knows any good soccer blogs, let me know.

2. just listened to the new sonic youth album, the eternal. really not feeling it. i know it’s easy to slag on them at this point, and i’m not slagging, cuz it’s still a decent record, but I think my mega love affair with them is kinda over. which is cool. it lasted a long time. it is interesting that the most out stuff they do now is when they do their side projects. and now when they get together as sonic youth, it’s like this mellow indy rock vibe. occasionally there are the slight noise departures, but on the whole, it’s just mellow. which is fine, they’re allowed to be mellow after 30 years. it’s pleasant enough to listen to. but so not crucial. i wanted to love it, feel what i used to feel when i listened to them, as recently as sonic nurse, but i had the same feeling as when i listened to rather ripped (how was that three years ago already?).

oh, but the thing i will slag on is the $30 price tag for the vinyl of the new record. what the fuck? either what the fuck matador? or what the fuck sonic youth? or both. no extra tracks or anything, just fancy packaging and nice vinyl. but 30 dollars. no thanks. i bought the cd. 12 bucks. little packaging. minimal. barebones. production credits, thank yous. that’s it. and then i’m told there were 2 other pre order packages one for 40 and one for 50 dollars. with either one you get more shit (a live vinyl) and i’m guessing some other swag. at first i thought it was a decent idea, getting people interested in the upcoming release, by offering extras to people who preorder it, but I totally didn’t realize it cost more. that’s just collectorism and exploiting a nerdy fanbase. and I’m so not into collectorism. way to encourage that lame pasttime matador/sonic youth.

ps no offense to collectors, i know it’s a condition that you can’t help and that you are still good people.

pps if i’ve gotten my info wrong about how matador released this record, also let me know.

bike riding

this is a shorty outtake from flotation device 12. i eventually took it out cuz i felt it didn’t add anything. and i didn’t want to contribute to the glut of zines that feature bike riding in them. and anyways, i’ve prolly already made my fair share of contributions to that glut anyways. on the bike riding note – i am looking forward to warm night bike rides again. tonight was one of the first of the year. so i’m especially stoked now!

One of my favorite things in the summer is to ride my bike late at night. Alone on the street only a few cars passing occasionally. Cool air. Sometimes heavy with humidity. But always cool and caressing after the heat of the day. The buildings pass by lazy. Trees that line the roads. Dark branches against dark night sky. Leaves green rustle whisper in the night breeze. Coming home from wherever I was. A show. A movie. A friend’s house. A diner. A bar. The city quiet for the night. Slowed down. Feeling like a hometown. A comfort zone. A pocket of safe from the world. Float and glide on rubber tires past mail boxes and street lights stoplights intersections. Cool air on my skin through my t shirt through my hair. My city. My town. My home. Trees overhead. Stars through the leaves and branches.

video games

this is an outtake from the 2216 section of flotation device 12. i felt i had already included enough pieces that established jeff and, sadly, this one had to go. in the end not much was really mentioned about our video game playing. a serious oversight.

Hey. Jeff said sneakily looking around.

Yeah?

Hey is it getting dark in here? He asked. It was still light out.

Awesome. It’s totally getting dark in here. I shut the blinds to cut the glare. He turned on the tv and the n64 and put in perfect dark.

This is the game we played most. Most on the n64.

Video games became one of our main things to do while hanging out. He was into video games and wanted to do sound for video games. Design it. Create the soundscape and sound effects. Compose the score. He loved it. I liked to play socially. So if I had someone to play with I was happy. He was always renting games. Some I would watch him play, some I wouldn’t. He’d play for a couple hours and then go out or do homework or play guitar or skate.

Is it getting dark in here? Initially it just meant perfect dark, but of course eventually it came to mean, do you wanna play video games? Of course we could always be direct about it and say, Hey do you wanna jam some vids. That always worked too.

adventures in biking

on my way to work the other day. cold. sun. me wrapped with scarf and ear coverings. layers under my windbreaker. breath frozen. left eye tearing as it does in the wind. at the corner of petersen and jersey. i was stopped at the light.

jersey has a left turn lane, a lane for going straight and a right lane for turning right or for assholes who also want to keep going straight. if said asshole wants to do this they have to cut off the car in the lane to their left fast. otherwise the asshole will crash into the cars parked on the street just north of the intersection. jersey is only a two lane street on the other side of petersen. the turn lane is unmarked but it’s pretty obvious that you can only go straight by cutting off the car to yr left.

when i get stopped at this intersection i stop in between the middle lane (that goes straight) and the turn lane. this way cars making a right can still do so while the light is red.

an suv sort of car pulled up in the right turn lane. the window rolled down. this dude with coffee in his left hand. close beard. heavy flannel shirt.

“hey. are you driving a car or riding a bike?” he said with the setup.
“i’m riding a bike.”
“yeah. yr supposed to be all the way on the right side,” he said smug with his punchline.
“yeah. i am. that’s the turn lane. i’m going straight.”

he hesitated for a second. it seemed he hadn’t thought of that. “well, yr brave buddy. that’s all i can say.”

the light turned green and I headed on my way. i noticed his car when it eventually passed me on the other side of petersen.

this sort of thing pisses me off. drivers who pull into the right turn lane or shoulder of the road at a light and then floor it to cut off the people to their left. not only are they assholes. they fucking scare the shit outta me cuz I never know if they are turning right or are going to run me over in their attempt to pass everyone else.

the necks

2/4/09

last night the necks at the cultural center. 2 sets. the first sounded like water. the way all the instruments worked together. the piano. the bass. the drums. this pulsing mass of music flow. it was nice. 40 minutes. growing music.

the second set. quieter. more sinister. the drums stole the show. or the lack of drums. the drummer played the drums without playing the actual drums. played around the kit. sounded like a wheezing antiquated machine lurching back to life. rolling in spurts and fits. rolling a metal disc around the rim or the floor tom. metal on metal. a brush flickering on the snare. no beat. just flow. slow burn build up until the kick drum is constant. thump. thump. thump. and a counter tap sizzle of drum stick on cymbal. the way these two sound played off each other sounded unnatural tense and evil. all the while metal on metal, discs on rims, taps and skitters of other little instruments on the drums instead of a stick.

the bass started the song. 4 notes. slow quiet solitary.

the drummer rolling something with his foot that made this percussive loud clicking rattle.

the kick drums sounds like stomping on the pedals of a piano really hard. soft disembodied attack hit followed by deep distant lingering reverb.

improvised music is the new newness

lately. i’ve been into the band. new ideas. new modes. it’s nice. i thought i woulda been more bummed that the rories stopped. but by the end, it was feeling like too much. too much responsibility. too much being in charge. not enough being part of a group. don’t get me wrong. i loved it. it was fun. but i think it had run its course and now we’re on to the next thing. the rories had been moving in that direction anyways. freeform. open-ended. improvised. and that seems to be what this new group is. open ended. we’re working on it. figuring it out. figuring out how to play with each other. what to play with each other. what musics. what instruments.

which is fun for me. playing new things like drums. trying to figure out how they work. sleigh bells – a christmas present from h’s sister. the sleigh bells rule. a keyboard that’s been sitting in my closet for years. now i’m playing all these things. and anything i can get my hands on. like a melodica. i wish i still had my harmonica. i wonder where that got off to. and yes i’m still playing my guitar also. it’s a nice feeling to be trying new things, making new sounds (new for me) and learning to interact musically with new people.

it can be frustrating. some nights. when we’re off. not coherent. but that’s the nature of it. and it seems like we’re getting more comfortable with each other and the music and it’ll continue to improve.

we still don’t have a name yet. some terrible ideas have been thrown around. maybe i’ll write them down later. we’ll see.

self aware blog writingness

i’m still trying to get a handle on what this blog thing is about. what should i put in here. i feel hesitant to put too much in here cuz i don’t want to overlap too much with the zine. i’m okay with putting up outtakes, deleted sections, fragments, alternate versions, etc, of published things. but i’m worried about putting stuff up here that i might want to put in a future issue of flotation device. although maybe i shouldn’t worry about that so much. cuz regardless i’d rewrite/rework whatever i put up on the blog. but still i feel a little weird about double dipping like that.

right now i guess i’m feeling like this will be good for my little more like journaly things that i write but never publish anymore. shit that i used to throw into zines when i made little shorty zines. shit about pirates and stuff. shit that for whatever reason i don’t feel like putting in published flotation device. published. unpublished.

also. i just need to be writing again. just a little bit. i’ve taken the past few months off cuz i was starting to feel massive anxiety. like apprehension nervous tension in my stomach and part of it seemed to be coming from pressure i was putting on myself about writing and the zine and all. so i stopped. stopped writing in the morning before work. stopped writing on the weekends. stopped trying to squeeze an hour in after work.

i haven’t quit. but i’ve taken a break. and i need to just kind of write to write for a bit. a little at a time. then i can attack the next zine. the next issue.

i haven’t been feeling so intensely anxious these days. i don’t know if it’s the not writing. the backing off from band responsibilities. learning to relax or what. it still arises occasionally but not so frequently. less sick lately.

i’ll work on the next issue of the zine when it feels right. when i’m up for it. when it doesn’t seem so massive. so daunting. in the meantime there’s these little shits to write. little by little.

yesterday

for yr enjoyment…

untitled haiku #1

water under the vending machine
the bathroom smells of shit and aftershave
my eyes a fog of computer and boredom